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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

DESEASE, THE THIEF OF MY DREAMS

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Life has more imaginations than we carry in our dreams. Its full of incredible events and unexpected surprises that change our moods. And sometimes they can even shock us. After that we feel frustrated, tired of living in the world which only yesterday didnt seem to be savage, in the world full of fuss and problems.


Once I changed my attitude to everything, I saw the world differently and liked my life. It happened when I became seriously ill and was afraid of bad consequences. The fear of death changed the way I see, taste, hear, smell, or even think. When the severe pain frustrated me, I couldnt sleep some nights.


Then I thought a lot about life, about what would happen if I changed the worlds.


Now let me tell you how it happened in detail.


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It was a usual shiny day when the city football championship began. We had to play one of the first matches. I was in the high schools football team and I worried a lot because I had never played such an important game when a lot of people watched it. This game meant everything to me because I always was interested in football. Thats why I didnt want to play the first period.


However I was very angry with myself because some guys didnt play well enough and I thought I would do much better if I were in their place. And at last, the first forty-five minutes finished and I replaced one guy who couldnt play well. It seemed he couldnt do it because he was scared that he would make a serious mistake and worried as well as I did since almost a thousand people watched the game. When the second period of the game started, my heart began to beat fast and I felt something strange deep inside that forced me to make a wrong pass.


During those forty-five minutes I ran like a wild animal. However in the end of the game I felt a severe pain in the right side of my stomach. It was the beginning of the trouble, which lasted for about half a year.


When I went to hospital, the doctor said that the problem was the gall bladder and the liver. He added that any sport and hard work was dangerous and told me not to eat fatty products. Besides, he said that I had better take one course of treatment in the hospital that would last about three weeks. But I immediately ignored his advice because I didnt want to miss the classes that were very important since it was my final year at the lyceum.


After that I felt myself as if my hands were tied or like a bird in the cage. I wanted to do what I did before; I wanted to fly and enjoy the life without any limitations in my actions. I wanted to jump, run, and sweat, but for that terrible illness which paralyzed my actions I couldnt play football.


At that hard time I understood the value of healthy life, of being fit and athletic. When I watched a football match on TV or passed by a place where boys played football or other sport I felt pity because it reminded me the days I was happy and enjoyed the game. I had a great desire to kick that football and sometimes I couldnt suffer it any more and played my favorite game, but couldnt get the real satisfaction. I was very sorry for myself then. Even though I swallowed lots of pills, which werent very tasty, and tried out many ways other people recommended, and although I was on diet it, didnt make me feel better. My illness became a global problem for me because it hurt badlywhen I did something. I was ready to starve the whole week and not to eat food which contained fat. Moreover, I lost my weight and became weak. Thats why I easily got tired. However, the most terrible thing was that I had to reject my avorite meals that I missed for a long time.


When I was doing my home assignment, I couldnt concentrate on it. It made me feel more terrible. I spent more time on doing it than I usually did. Since it was my last year at the lyceum, I had to study very hard and prepare for final exams, for the competition in mathematics, and for university at the same time.


Thats why sometimes I was completely exhausted and tired of studying.


Not only did my illness injure me physically but it also hurt my inner world. It changed me; I became depressed, frustrated and angry. Probably its the reason I seemed to behave rudely; most of my friends thought I was selfish and didnt care.


Sometimes it hurt very badly and I didnt know how to kill my pain. I wanted to forget about it by doing something interesting. It worked very often and at that moment fear made me silly. It seemed to me that something terrible would happen.


I was very afraid, especially, when I was alone. Then I thought about life, about my future, my family, my friends, etc., and everything got mixed up in my head in a very complex way. I thought about life without me, about what would happen if I died. Then I understood the value of living, being healthy, and that the life was beautiful. I looked differently at the surrounding world, and I saw many wonderful things that I didnt notice before.


When I recovered from that disease, the robber of my happiness of being fit and living a healthy life, I felt like a free bird that escaped from a cage or like a winner of a long and tiring run. My life became more enjoyable, and I realized that everything changed. I didnt feel trapped by the thief of my dreams any more. Lots of my problems were solved as if I gained extra power. Everything returned to its usual place.


Although my illness lasted for six months, I discovered a lot of important things which make life more interesting. I understood the value of health, of being fit and that life is beautiful even though sometimes we face obstacles on our way to happiness that might seem almost insurmountable. Thats why I think we must be tolerant and optimistic to make our life more enjoyable when we confront difficulties.





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