Saturday, September 29, 2012

Hockey Hulk

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The Incredible Hockey Hulk

Peering over the edge, he held his breath, but decided it was too late. Billy was on his way to a hockey practice when his four hundred dollar Synergy hockey stick was run over by a bus of overweight people. Billy is fifteen years old, has a stocky build, is very tall, and has orange hair. He called the police right after to report this heinous crime, but they just laughed and hung up on Billy. Billy was enraged. He knew the only way to feel better about the loss of his prized hockey stick was revenge.

His eyes suddenly grew to enormous size. They changed colour from a gentle blue to a blood red. His long legs bulged with newly acquired muscle. So did his arms, chest and stomach. His orange hair was now black, and his skin a sickening green. He was the Incredible Hockey Hulk!

He ran after the bus at over 100 mph. He was almost at the bus, eager to seek a swift revenge! The bus had pulled into a local McDonalds Drive Thru, and while the members of Overeaters Anonymous were ordering food (which took a long time,) Billy snuck up behind the bus and punctured the tires with his sharp and durable fingernails (he didn’t get these from the transformation; he just drank a lot of milk.) He hopped inside the bus, and fortunately for the members of Overeaters Anonymous, he changed back into his former self.

Not knowing what he was doing, but knowing fully well something was wrong, Billy went to a shrink (psychiatrist.) After a few sessions, Dr. Von Fraud announced that Billy was suffering from post divorce trauma, which is strange because Billy’s parents are happily married and have been for years and years. Billy was locked up in a mental asylum for the rest of his life, which just goes to show, only trust a shrink as far as you can throw him.

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